Joanne (JoanneProcter)

Username: jaszthewayyoulikeit

What was liked about your story:

I liked how specific the author was with some details. For example— she gave her readers an exact time and the reason behind on when Julie will meet and shift into her wolf form. Another was the detail of why wolves don’t reveal their names that easily to their humans. She also gave us a great interaction between Julie and her wolf, which was written well. The idea of idols also being of werewolf origins was an interesting and unique take. I never read something like this, so the book was a fresh read from all other wolf books out there. I’m curious as to which idol will be Julie’s mate (pretty sure it will be the leader or main guy of the group lmao). Overall, I liked the author’s writing style. There were no parts that made me confused and the plot was planned out well.

What wasn't liked about it (something you could work on):

There were some minor problems with technicalities. For example— instead of the word, “reveled,” the author wrote in, “revealed,” which shifts the whole idea of the sentence. The use of ellipsis was also used wrong. Ellipses are only three periods, and nothing more. She also had some slightly lengthy paragraphs that could be broken into shorter ones.

Plot Cohesion

Does the plot make sense?

Yes, it did. I have no points to say that needs improvement.

Were the chapters eventful and full of information?

The author made the events pan out clear and well, and everything flowed smoothly.

Setting

Did you know where the scenes were taking place at all times?

Yes, she was clear on her story setting by informing her readers on where the MC was currently at.

Vivid Description

Did you feel as if the scene was coming to life?

Yes, I could feel the emotions the characters wanted to express. An example would be the excitement her friends had when Julie told them she got tickets for all of them.

Were the five senses involved? If yes, how?

Yes, she was good with her descriptions. I could picture out the characters as she did a brief desc. on some of them.

Characters

Did the characters feel important?

Well for one, the author made it evident that the idol group, Midnight, were a very important presence in the book. The scene where Julie was eating lunch and girls were begging her to lend a ticket to them made it so. Also, Julie adamantly wished for Nathan to be her mate, only to be met with him being freshly mated with another girl. This made us readers know that she will, indeed, find her mate in the concert and he will be a part of Midnight.

Could you distinguish the difference between the characters? If no, why not?

Yes. As mentioned previously, the author’s writing never confused me. Was there a clear antagonist and protagonist?

Julie was a clear protagonist. The author also gave us a hint of Nathan being an antagonist, what with him saying, “I won’t lose you, Julie,” even when we all knew he was already mated with Michelle.

Dialogue

Was all of the dialogue necessary, or did it seem as if they were just trying to fill up the page?

I feel as if all the dialogues were straight to the point, and weren’t fillers.

Was the dialogue easy to follow? If no, why?

Yes, it was easy to follow.

Did the dialogue give you any insight to anything in the story? (i.e: thoughts, personal feelings, foreshadowing)

It did. I already mentioned some points earlier, so I don’t think I need to reiterate them again here (:

Grammar & Organization

Were there a lot of errors/mistakes? If yes, please specify your answer.

I already pointed out the mistakes on a previous question.

Were the chapters hard, or easy to read? If hard, please specify your answer.

They were easy to read.

Was there enough punctuation, and was it used correctly? If no, please specify your answer.

Yes and no (already said this on a previous question)

Were there words used in the incorrect context? If yes, please elaborate to the best of your ability.

Your punctuation rated between 1-10?

9 Your grammar rated between 1-10?

9 Your vocabulary rated between 1-10?

9 Your Partner's Personal Critique:

N/A

Recommendation

Sure, if the said person is okay with reading something of this kind. We all know not everyone likes anything related to kpop (although I’m a huge Monbebe and a VIP, so this was fine with me), and some people like the dark alpha romance kind of books.

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Username:

WendilynnKerezman

What was liked about your story:

I liked that it was a second chance mate story

What wasn't liked about it (something you could work on):

It was only about ten chapters so there wasn't anything to like or dislike yet as I'm barely getting to know the characters. His character intrigues me, though. He is not quite acting like he's ever had a mate before. I can't tell if he's scared to love again or if he truly was that clueless the first time around too.

Plot Cohesion

Does the plot make sense?

So far its pretty straight forward, but I want to know about the zombies. You can't throw that tidbit in there and not update. lol

Were the chapters eventful and full of information?

There's only ten chapters so far and they are written in an interesting manner. Starting the chapter in the middle of the action took a little bit for me to get into the groove of. I kept thinking I was missing something, but she catches the reader up soon enough. But it does take you off guard a little bit.

Setting

Did you know where the scenes were taking place at all times?

eventually. Like I mentioned, the chapters tend to start in the middle of whats going on and so you have to wait a little bit to see what is actually going on. This isn't a bad way to write a chapter, it just took me a little off guard.

Vivid Description

Did you feel as if the scene was coming to life?

Our main girl is very young and immature. So you get that mindset right away. Its only been ten chapters so the reader is still trying to figure out what is going on because our girl doesn't know what's going on either.

Were the five senses involved? If yes, how?

I guess so. I spent more time wondering what was going on then paying atteniton to my surroundings in the book. You go in prepared for a male mate who is withdrawn and that's what you get.

Characters

Did the characters feel important?

it was too early to say. I'm liking the impishness of the Beta, though.

Could you distinguish the difference between the characters? If no, why not?

You can for our main girl, the beta and the mothering type character who takes her under her wing, but the rest are surface characters only. Again, I feel this is due to the writer still settting up the story.

Was there a clear antagonist and protagonist?

Not yet.

Dialogue

Was all of the dialogue necessary, or did it seem as if they were just trying to fill up the page?

dialogue was useful at all times.

Was the dialogue easy to follow? If no, why?

Yes

Did the dialogue give you any insight to anything in the story? (i.e: thoughts, personal feelings, foreshadowing)

You got more information from the main girl's thoughts.

Grammar & Organization

Were there a lot of errors/mistakes? If yes, please specify your answer.

not specifically.

Were the chapters hard, or easy to read? If hard, please specify your answer.

it takes the reader a few paragraphs to figure out what is going on, but its an intriguing way of writing the chapters.

Was there enough punctuation, and was it used correctly? If no, please specify your answer.

Nothing stood out.

Were there words used in the incorrect context? If yes, please elaborate to the best of your ability.

Your punctuation rated between 1-10?

9

Your grammar rated between 1-10?

9

Your vocabulary rated between 1-10?

9

Your Partner's Personal Critique:

With only so few chapters there wasn't enough for me to tell what was going on as their relationship was just barely getting started. I look forward to seeing where you take this. I would love more from his perspective to know what is going through his head. Or at least for our female to get that information. And I definately want to know about the zombies.

Recommendation

the story is too young for me to make a recommendation yet.