Shannon (Rieka914)

Username: EleenaBanerjee

Unfortunately, your partner failed to do this week's assignment and they've received a strike for the tardiness. If you'd still wish to get a review done, please contact the founder and she or one of the admins will do it in place of your partner or you could choose to trust your new pair will write one for this week. We're so sorry for the inconvenience.

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Username: lil_wolf23

What was liked about your story: Its well written with very less grammatical errors

What wasn't liked about it (something you could work on): I feel the description of the story could be stronger as right now its not very attractive.

Plot Cohesion

Does the plot make sense? Though plot made sense but I feel unnecessary lengthening of scenes are present which causes loss of interest sometime.

Were the chapters eventful and full of information?

Yes, but it felt the writer tried including more than required information in the first two chapters making them confusing.

Setting

Did your reader know where the scenes were taking place at all times?

Mostly yes as in the writer includes the places at the beginning of the chapters itself.

Vivid Description

Were your scenes coming to life?

Yes the scenes were very descriptive giving us an insight into the places and helping to imagine the situations.

If and how all five senses were appealed to:

Yes all the five sense were included but as stated it sometimes get confusing for the brain

Characters

Did the characters feel important?

For the first two chapters the characters took time to register, it was only in the third chapter did I get the the importance and who is who.

Could your reader distinguish the difference between the characters?

No, they were pretty confusing. It felt like the writer wanted to introduce all the characters in the first two chapters itself.

Was there a clear antagonist and protagonist?

Maybe

Dialogue

Was all of the dialogue necessary, or did it seem as if you were just trying to fill up the page?

Most of the time they were necessary.

Was the dialogue realistic and easy to follow?

As stated since the chapters had a lot of information all together if wasn't that easy to follow, you have to go back to scenes for reference sometimes.

Did the dialogue give the reader any insight to anything in the story?

Yes

Grammar & Organization

Were there a lot of errors/mistakes?

No

Were the chapters hard, or easy to read? The unnecessary lengthening made them difficult to ready

Was there enough punctuation, and was it used correctly?

Yes

Your punctuation rated between 1-10?

8

Your grammar rated between 1-10?

8

Your vocabulary rated between 1-10?

5

Your Partner's Personal Critique:

N/A

Recommendation:

Yes, definitely I would cause its one of the few books with lesser mistakes

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Username: BexyCL

What was liked about your story: I was only able to read up to chapter 16, so here is what I liked so far: I liked that it wasn't a cliche mate story. I loved that all of the characters actually acted their ages... the teenagers were slightly awkward and still trying to figure out who they were and their place in the world. I love the sense of mystery that is building. I am also enjoying the pacing - it isn't too fast and it isn't too slow.

What wasn't liked about it (something you could work on): The one thing I am confused about is why if her parents were so beloved in their community, why didn't anyone like Selene and why did she feel the need to leave so quickly after their death?

Plot Cohesion

Does the plot make sense?

The plot makes sense. I have a feeling that there are going to be some twists and turns coming up and I am totally there for it!

Were the chapters eventful and full of information?

The chapters were eventful and added to the story. I also liked that the end of most chapters didn't have a cliffhanger, per se, but did leave the reader wanting more.

Setting

Did your reader know where the scenes were taking place at all times?

The setting of the scenes was very clear. I do wish there were a tad more description though (I tend to like a lot of discrimination). I know Selene has a room at the packhouse, but I don't know what it looks like. Has she put her own touch on it, or has she left it bare and plain because she feels it is temporary? I would think that moving from Atlanta to Oregon would make her really notice the trees, the mountains and the rain in Oregon. Maybe flesh those parts out a bit more.

Vivid Description

Were your scenes coming to life?

The scenes did come to life. The characters were believable and their dialogue and reactions were believable. The author gives enough insight into each character that you really understand where they are coming from and sympathize.

If and how all five senses were appealed to:

The author does a really good job of using smell and not making it weird or gross. She does a nice job with the other senses as well. I would just maybe add a bit more visual stuff especially where the character's spend a lot of time.

Characters

Did the characters feel important?

It was clear who the "main" characters were and who the more supporting characters were. I am looking forward to finding out more about Clyde - even though he already feels very important!

Could your reader distinguish the difference between the characters?

Definitely. Each character has a clear and distinct personality and it came across in the way that they acted and spoke.

Was there a clear antagonist and protagonist?

The protagonist was very clear. In as far as I got, the antagonist wasn't as clear, but you could definitely see it coming.

Dialogue

Was all of the dialogue necessary, or did it seem as if you were just trying to fill up the page?

The dialogue was necessary and it moved the action along. It also really served to build the relationships between the characters.

Was the dialogue realistic and easy to follow?

Absolutely. It was easy to follow, and it is was easy to tell who was speaking. The only thing I would add, is that it helps to start a new paragraph when there is a new speaker.

Did the dialogue give the reader any insight to anything in the story?

The dialogue between Selene and her inner wolf did this the most, but yes, the dialogue gave you insight into the characters and moved the story along. In the beginning I wished that Jackson would talk more, but that is how he is and he is beginning to open up more as the story goes on. There are definitely things that can't be said or won't be said but that is part of the story.

Grammar & Organization

Were there a lot of errors/mistakes?

There were a few typos here and there. There were a couple of places that needed an extra coma - like before and after the pet name Love in a sentence. Ex: "What's on your mind, love?" There were enough errors to make the reading difficult or to take you out of the story.

Were the chapters hard, or easy to read?

Paragraph length, chapter length and sentence structure were all good. The chapter's were long enough to make it feel worth while, but not too long that it dragged.

Was there enough punctuation, and was it used correctly?

Yup

Your punctuation rated between 1-10? 8

Your grammar rated between 1-10?

8

Your vocabulary rated between 1-10?

8

Your Partner's Personal Critique:

I am really enjoying this book! The main characters are relatable and likable. The relationships feel natural and not forced or rushed like some more cliche books. I like the new take on a prophesy and I enjoy that it is about a strong female being in charge. I love that Selene is getting to know herself while also gaining a better understanding of her parents / mother. I love the little 'seeds' of information that her mother left her. I really enjoy Selene has trouble adjusting to her new world - it would be quite an adjustment to make! I also really liked the fresh take on the first shift. I am really looking forward to seeing where the story is heading!

Recommendation:

I would recommend this to anyone who is looking for a more reality based, normally paced mate story with what I feel like is going to be some really good twists and turns!

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Username: BoldSwan

What was liked about your story: This story was a bit different than I expected. I liked how we started ten years ago and we get to see what the main characters were like before everything changed. It really shows how life isn't always sunshine and rainbows for everyone.

What wasn't liked about it (something you could work on): There wasn't anything I didn't like, everything really had my full attention and it really captivated me as a reader!

Plot Cohesion

Does the plot make sense?

I'm not sure if I know what the plot really is yet (but that might just be me). Without spoiling it for other readers, I want to say it's the fact they're extinct? I'm looking forward to continuing to read to learn more about it.

Were the chapters eventful and full of information?

The chapters were definitely eventful, one of the protagonist made sure of that. As for information, I believe there's definitely more she can write on about werewolves and why they're no longer 'alive'. But then again, this is an on going story so I can't wait what more she brings to the table!

Setting

Did your reader know where the scenes were taking place at all times?

Yes, I was well aware of the location of the the scenes. They did an amazing job in describing certain locations that really made them stand out.

Vivid Description

Were your scenes coming to life? For the most part, I want to say yes. However, I felt like some scenes were a bit dull/technical (for me that is). Then again, the author does start with how tough life was for them in the beginning. Which they did in an amazing job in making you feel their struggles.

If and how all five senses were appealed to:

All senses were used in different scenes. However, she could maybe incorporate them more in future chapters.

Characters

Did the characters feel important?

The characters definitely feel important. The author does a great job on focusing on them making sure to really highlight their feelings and actions.

Could your reader distinguish the difference between the characters?

Yes, I was able to distinguish the difference between characters. They're all their own person and have something that makes them stand out one way or another.

Was there a clear antagonist and protagonist?

Protagonists were on the clear, except I'm still unsure who the antagonist is. Considering this is an on going story, I'm looking forward to meet them!

Dialogue

Was all of the dialogue necessary, or did it seem as if you were just trying to fill up the page?

Yes, the dialogue that was used was all necessary in order to help describe the characters beginnings and who they are. Did a good job of making their talks cute and interesting!

Was the dialogue realistic and easy to follow?

The dialogue was easy to follow and it was definitely realistic. The author did an amazing job capturing the thoughts, feelings, and conversations of these struggling characters.

Did the dialogue give the reader any insight to anything in the story?

The dialogue really made me feel something, it's interesting how these characters stuck to my head. The dialogue didn't let me really see any foreshadowing, but the thoughts and feelings are there. It makes you question what'll happen next? But my overall favorite was how the two main characters only opened up to each other considering everyone is more reserved.

Grammar & Organization

Were there a lot of errors/mistakes?

Nope, I didn't see anything that was to grand. It's well written and if there was any errors or typos, I can't recall any of them.

Were the chapters hard, or easy to read?

The chapters were easy to read and keep up with. Everything that was there helped everything flow just nicely.

Was there enough punctuation, and was it used correctly? Punctuation was used very well. I don't think I caught on to any if there was some to begin with.

Your punctuation rated between 1-10?

9

Your grammar rated between 1-10?

9

Your vocabulary rated between 1-10?

9

Your Partner's Personal Critique:

I don't have anything else to critique on. I feel like I've answered everything that needed fixing with theses questions. However, my only critique is more like advice. Don't stop writing! Believe in your work because as a reader and writer, I know your story has potential and is really great!

Recommendation:

If you want something that isn't a cliche, then this story is for you. This story has proven that it's not your typical werewolf story. It's new in the sense that you don't know what'll happen next! The story stands out and I can't wait what happens from here on out. It's refreshing and because of that, I recommend it to other readers!