Tracy

Username: blackishfever

What was liked about your story: i like how in addition tothe characters being caring they are also fierce

What wasn't liked about it (something you could work on): there's nothing

Plot Cohesion

Does the plot make sense?

yes and not really

Were the chapters eventful and full of information?

there was a very thorough description

Setting

Did your reader know where the scenes were taking place at all times?

yes. She made sure to add the place in her description at all times

Vivid Description

Were your scenes coming to life?

yes. She described the emotions of the characters very well

If and how all five senses were appealed to:

there's some very good vocabulary and one could learn new ways of describing in order for one's readers to stay entertained

Characters

Did the characters feel important?

N/A

Could your reader distinguish the difference between the characters?

Yes

Was there a clear antagonist and protagonist?

Yes

Dialogue

Was all of the dialogue necessary, or did it seem as if you were just trying to fill up the page?

it helped in understanding what was going on

Was the dialogue realistic and easy to follow?

Yes

Did the dialogue give the reader any insight to anything in the story?

Yes

Grammar & Organization

Were there a lot of errors/mistakes?

No

Were the chapters hard, or easy to read?

Easy

Was there enough punctuation, and was it used correctly?

yes and in some cases, yes

Your punctuation rated between 1-10?

8

Your grammar rated between 1-10?

8

Your vocabulary rated between 1-10?

9

Your Partner's Personal Critique:

there's an amazing story line here and this book will be very enjoyable in future chapters

Recommendation:

yes. It is very interesting and captivating

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Username: gingerscorpion1

What was liked about your story: I liked the way the events were described and how the main character interacted with her wolf. The vocabulary was also good and the story was interesting.

What wasn't liked about it (something you could work on): I didn't like how some events were jumbled up. There were some errors but I hope the author puts it under consideration. The symbols being used to separate different events in a single chapter look unpleasing to me. Eg ****** try a single line or --- are enough. I don't know if you understand.

Plot Cohesion

Does the plot make sense? It does but I haven't seen the plots yet from the five chapters I read. I will have to ask the author if a plot is coming after the chapters I read. The story was straight forward without any problems to the two. I think to make the story interesting, the time for accepting eachother should have been filled with destruction or plans maybe by the girl that was chosen to mate him.

Were the chapters eventful and full of information?

The description was good and it gave information that was easily pictured hence the events were fully described. The chapters were long and filled with reasonable data.

Setting

Did your reader know where the scenes were taking place at all times?

Yes I did. The description of the places helped alot.

Vivid Description

Were your scenes coming to life?

I did but at some points I couldn't understand the story. The scenes were amazing and imaginative.

If and how all five senses were appealed to:

N/A

Characters

Did the characters feel important?

I am not sure but maybe it's because they were all included in the events.

Could your reader distinguish the difference between the characters?

N/A

Was there a clear antagonist and protagonist?

Yes

Dialogue

Was all of the dialogue necessary, or did it seem as if you were just trying to fill up the page?

They were all necessary.

Was the dialogue realistic and easy to follow?

Yes

Did the dialogue give the reader any insight to anything in the story?

Yes

Grammar & Organization

Were there a lot of errors/mistakes?

Yes but they were only a few spelling mistakes.

Were the chapters hard, or easy to read? Easy

Was there enough punctuation, and was it used correctly?

Yes

Your punctuation rated between 1-10?

8

Your grammar rated between 1-10?

9

Your vocabulary rated between 1-10?

8

Your Partner's Personal Critique:

I think the writer should add a different cover because first impression matters and should interact with the people commenting because it motivated them to read more. More tags should be added to the story so that it is found by other people. It only has one tag.

Recommendation:

Yes I would because it has a wonderful concept.

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Username: EleenaBanerjee

What was liked about your story: I like how sweet Amber was without being completely naive. I enjoyed the banter between the characters. I also liked that there was a bit of mystery going on.

What wasn't liked about it (something you could work on): There were some places that it felt like the reader was being told the story rather than the author showing the reader how the story unfolds.

Plot Cohesion

Does the plot make sense?

The plot definitely makes sense.

Were the chapters eventful and full of information?

The chapters were eventful and full of information. The pace is a bit fast. I feel like the author could slow it down a bit and really let the tension and love between the main characters build.

Setting

Did your reader know where the scenes were taking place at all times?

I did know where the scenes were generically. The author sets the scene in a office or at a restaurant but doesn't spend a lot of time describing the area. I feel like the story could really come to life if you give the reader a bit more information about the world they live in. Riverham and Iwar are completely made up places and this gives the author the opportunity to "design" their own country. Tell the reader what these places are like... do they have soaring mountains? Are they mostly urban areas with tall buildings and lots of traffic? Are they filled with small villages full of people who live off the land and sea? Set the stage for the reader. Amber took Zach to her favorite place, the place she comes to when she wants to be at peace. Describe for the reader what this place looks like. If we know more about what brings Amber peace, the more we will know about Amber as a character.

Vivid Description

Were your scenes coming to life?

As previously stated, the descriptions could use a bit of punching up to fully bring the book to life.

If and how all five senses were appealed to:

The author did a good job of bringing the sense of smell into the story. The tone of voices were really well described and helps the reader really feel like they can 'hear' the character when they are speaking. The author might want to bring in a bit more visual by giving the characters a bit more physical description to allow the reader to picture them. We can learn a lot about a character by their fashion choices.

Characters

Did the characters feel important?

The characters felt important by the way they interacted with each other and by the jobs that they were given by the Alpha.

Could your reader distinguish the difference between the characters?

Most of the characters had their own voice and that made it easier to tell who was talking and when. One thing I will say is that sometimes it felt that Zach spoke very formally and then other times he spoke very informally and heavy with slang. That was a bit hard to reconcile.

Was there a clear antagonist and protagonist?

Yes

Dialogue

Was all of the dialogue necessary, or did it seem as if you were just trying to fill up the page?

The dialogue was good. I enjoyed the way the characters played off one another and it moved the plot along nicely.

Was the dialogue realistic and easy to follow?

Yes. The dialogue was easy to follow, it was entertaining and natural. Nothing felt overly narrative or silted.

Did the dialogue give the reader any insight to anything in the story?

I loved the internal dialogue from Ray. I thought the relationship between Ray and Zach was the best one! The conversations between those two really helped the reader understand where Zach was coming from and his reasoning behind his actions.

Grammar & Organization

Were there a lot of errors/mistakes?

there are some grammar and punctuation mistakes. There is the occasional word that is used incorrectly. Most issues can be solved by running a grammar check.

Were the chapters hard, or easy to read?

The chapters were a good length. They ended with the reader wanting more, but not a ton of cliff hangers to cause too much stress! :)

Was there enough punctuation, and was it used correctly?

As above, I would run a grammar and spelling check. That will catch most of the errors.

Your punctuation rated between 1-10? 7

Your grammar rated between 1-10?

7

Your vocabulary rated between 1-10?

7

Your Partner's Personal Critique:

I really enjoyed that there was a sense of mystery and that there was more to the main couple than just werewolf and mate. Ray was my favorite character. I liked how he really told it like it is! There are a lot of characters introduced at once but the author managed to give them all a unique voice and this lets the reader distinguish between them.

Recommendation:

I would recommend this book to anyone who is looking for a bit of a love story along with a bit of mystery.

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Username: BoldSwan

Unfortunately, your partner failed to do this week's assignment and they've received a strike for the tardiness. If you'd still wish to get a review done, please contact the founder and she or one of the admins will do it in place of your partner or you could choose to trust your new pair will write one for this week. We're so sorry for the inconvenience.